#[fml]

i either talk too much or too little there's no in between

"Upper management offered all staff at home office a free bean burrito lunch on the same day a pipe burst and rendered every single toilet in the building inoperable" sounds like a B-plot in an episode of "The Office", however this is the actual life I am living in right now in real time, proving once again that we are all Jim in God's eternal binge watch

i know i’d be UNSTOPPABLE if i lost some more weight but im lowkey too much of a fatass and love food 💔